Beleaguered ASOS customer raps complaint to tune of Stan by Eminem

Eminem would be proud to learn that his fans are lyrically just as creative as the "rap god" himselfPIERRE ANDRIEU / Staff

One Eminem fan left his Facebook friends in hysterics when he contacted online fashion retailer ASOS using lyrics to the rapper's hit single Stan.

Rather than send a disgruntled email about his missing t-shirt, Stephen Cannon from Workington reached out to the clothing store through social media and put his creative imagination to good use. Reworking lyrics to Eminem's iconic track, Cannon wrote on Facebook: "I sent you my exchange but it still ain't returning, I left my size product code and order number at the bottom, I sent for a T-shirt back in July you must not of Got Em, there must be a problem at the post office or something.

"Anyway f**k it how's ya marketplace. you probably hear this everyday, I'm your biggest fan, I've got a wardrobe full of your clothes and shoes man. Anyway hope you get this, hit me back, just to chat, truly yours, Biggest fan Stephen Can."

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In good humour, an ASOS customer service rep responded with their own rap verse, which was arguably just as impressive as Cannon's and even added several more bars.

The employee named Amber wrote in the brand's reply: "Dear Stephan Can, I was meant to write to you sooner but we've been so busy, You said you haven't received your exchange, how long ago did you return it to me? Look, it can take 10 working days for your returns to come back, And if it's been longer than that, Pop us a private message and we'll see what's the crack."

Amber continued: "Your exchange will be sent out with your original delivery service to you. Don't think we wouldn't send it intentionally just to diss you. When we've received it you'll receive an email from us too, I say pop us a message man and we'll look into this for you. I really think we could get this sorted out together, And I hope this makes you think our service is better. I hope you get to read this letter."

The verse concluded: "Pop us a message quick time, With your order number & email address, that will be just fine. Don't forget your proof of postage too but Stephen Can, We hope you understand, That we do want you as a fan! We want you to have the best closet, so PM us with your details and we can have a gossip And we'll this sorted out and looked into So Stephen Can, we look forward to hearing from you, ASOS Am (ber)."

The exchange has gone viral, receiving 17,000 likes and more than 1,000 shares on Facebook. It seems Cannon's style of complaint was perhaps inspired by another customer, Jay Whalley, who wrote a similar rap verse to ASOS in 2016 and also received a Stan-themed reply.

Stan, released in 2000, features vocals from British singer Dido and appears on Eminem's pioneering second album The Marshall Mathers LP. One of the Slim Shady's earlier hits, Stan only managed to peak at number 59 on the US Billboard Hot 100 chart but it did soar to number one in the UK.

Listen to Eminem's Stan:

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